Helping Your Child Build a Positive Mindset

Mindset is everything. It can propel us to unimaginable heights in every area of life—school, sports, relationships, career. But what if we don’t feel we have a positive mindset?

How do we build one?

One way is by noticing the habits we use to maintain a positive mindset ourselves and sharing them with our children. However, sometimes just talking about it isn’t enough.

We need to go deeper.

Letting Go of the Fixed Mindset

Some children, when faced with a challenge, immediately feel defeated, even before they’ve had a chance to think it through. They might say things like, "There's no way I can do this," or "That's impossible!" This is a sign of a fixed mindset—a belief that their abilities are limited and unchangeable.

This type of thinking can stop the brain from even considering solutions. When we get stuck in limiting thoughts, it’s easy to give up before we even begin. But when we shift our focus from "I can't" to "How can I?" we change the energy of the situation. Suddenly, the conversation moves in a more productive direction, opening up possibilities.

Brainstorming Solutions Together

When I work with children, I encourage them to put on their "thinking cap" and get curious about potential solutions. The key is to brainstorm without judgment—every idea counts, even the silly ones! Write down all the possibilities and see what sticks.

Sometimes, parents or caregivers can help by pointing out situations where the child succeeded in the past, even if they didn’t recognize it at the time. Reflecting on past wins helps kids realize they are capable, which builds confidence and fosters a growth mindset.

The Power of Gratitude

Gratitude is like medicine for happiness. It helps us focus on what’s good in our lives, rather than dwelling on what’s not going well. A simple daily gratitude practice can shift a child’s perspective and nurture a positive mindset.

One fun exercise to try is a "gratitude check-in" at any time of day—during breakfast, at dinner, or before bed. Ask your child, "What’s one thing you’re grateful for today?" and share your own answer as well. Challenge them to come up with something different each day. This simple habit can help children appreciate the small things that add up to a positive, fulfilling life.

Recognizing Past Successes

Another powerful way to build a positive mindset is by highlighting past successes, no matter how small. Think back to times when your child has overcome a challenge, succeeded in a task, or learned something new. Recognizing these moments reinforces the idea that they can succeed again in the future.

Filling up their “self-confidence bank” with positive memories boosts their sense of self-efficacy—the belief that they can handle whatever comes their way. The more they believe in their ability to succeed, the more likely they are to take action in the face of new challenges.

Positive Self-Talk

It may sound corny, but positive self-talk really works! Our minds are like computers: whatever we program into them, they will execute. Teaching your child to say empowering phrases can help them face difficult situations with confidence and calm.

Help your child find a phrase that resonates with them.

Here are some examples to get started:

• "I’ve got this!"

• "I can do hard things!"

• "I haven’t figured this out yet, but I will find a way."

Encourage them to repeat these phrases when they feel nervous or overwhelmed.

With practice, this becomes a powerful tool for managing stress and building resilience.

Let’s Hear From You!

What strategies have worked for you in helping your child develop a positive mindset? Share your thoughts or leave a comment below—I’d love to hear your tips and experiences!

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